When you just can’t wait for the facts
Why is the sky blue?
While your Mom is online looking for “scientific” information, here’s an idea.
All the colors that come down to earth are absorbed by something. Since the oceans cover most of the earth’s surface, they get first pick and choose blue. The land soaks up the rest. Plants like green and brown the most, for some reason. Flowers and fruit take in some of the really pretty colors like yellow, red, and orange. It’s for this reason that we seldom see blue food.
The ocean, flush with blue, reflects some back into the atmosphere, like a blackjack winner tipping the dealer. The atmosphere is colorless and therefore glad to get any tint it can.
Fun Fact: Nature uses rainbows to restore fresh color to the earth every now and then. Parrots live at the end of the rainbow and so get first crack at the brilliant new shades.
Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?
Remember old Granny Agatha who used to haunt the little house out back at the farm? Well, even she couldn’t remember the dinosaurs! And since the dinosaurs left so few written records, we have to make things up.
Some say a rock the size of Cincinnati crashed into the Club Med near Cancun, raising a colossal dust cloud and rebooting the entire animal kingdom.
Others say dinosaurs expired after huffing volcanoes to get high.
A more likely explanation is what paleontologists call “dumb-ass stunts” on the part of all male dinosaurs worldwide.
After eons of sharing the same planet, which seemed to get smaller and smaller the more time they had to spend together, male and female brains began to evolve different neural pathways. One result was that the females got fed up with their potential partners and were just not into mating.
Males had to try out more and more flashy courting rituals. These got to be really dangerous: balancing on cliffs, “flying” without wings, lava leaping, etc. “Hey, look at this” was often the last call of doomed males. When the final guynosaur had grunted the equivalent of “Here, hold my beer,” females were left bereft. With no mating, whole species dwindled and winked out. This paved the way for the Age of Bandicoots we live in today.
Fun fact 2: Some females learned to reproduce solo through the process of parthenogenesis (FISH-needs-a-BI-cycle), which is Greek for “dating yourself.” That can ruin your eyesight, so we’re not going to talk about that until you’re much older.
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I totally buy this. Basically the female dinosaurs educated themselves, and birthrates go down whenever women become more educate as a whole. Also remember there is “Parthenongenesis” (when temples built in honor of virgin goddesses give birth without the aid of stonemasons, architects, or funding). Thank you, Dad. I shall go forth a new man because of this awesome blog post. 🙂
Thanks for your kind words.
The fact that there’s no male equivalent for parthenogenesis could make lesser men nervous.