Just in time for Fall travel, the Private Sector and the US Park Service have teamed up to blow open the great outdoors here at BioTrans® Goiter Gorge National Park.
It’s been a full year in the making – not like the six-day rush job at other parks. Nature at Goiter Gorge finally gets what’s coming to Her.
Who can count all the great improvements? Here are just a few:
Designer forests
If you still like the old-fashioned bright yellow, orange, and red of the changing leaves, we’ve got them, pretty as a cheap calendar.
But if you think a New England Fall is a little tacky, and just not your palate, Goiter Gorge gives you options.
Autumn is the new spring! EcoDesinger and Genetician Daiquiri Mendel presents his GMO take on deciduous style with our Pastel Glade in Area 4. A carefully curated collection of tasteful trees gives you a more subdued and flattering mix of shades as your background. How soothing.
And for those truly allergic to the jangling colors of brassy maples, our Natural Neutrals goes a step further. Aspens, beeches, and birches in a (non-chlorine) bleached collection of whites and grays give the cones in your eyes a rest.
Dial a Rapid
The formerly unbridled Wachyacoochee River is temporarily closed for enhancements that will open wild water experiences to everybody.
Our hydro-gineers are installing the latest Dial-a-Rapid system that will let you choose your desired level of excitement, from Princess Pebbles Bump-along all the way to Screaming Beaver Falls.
“Wild” animals on Parade
Animatronic creatures are based on actual animals that once overran the area. But these are lovingly rendered by our engineers to “live” peaceably with visitors. No danger here from Nature “soft in tooth and claw.” And no downtime from hibernation, migration, or extinction.
See all your favorites from snugable groundhogs to gruff old Grandpa Grizzly. And join us for the nightly Food Chain Finale.
Vista Lookout
Breathtaking views of constantly changing clouds, light, and skyline. Mining excavation at nearby Mt. Horeb means the structure of the hills varies from week to week. So come on back for a new panorama each visit
Set your watch
One of the park’s main attractions has been upgraded. Our venerable geyser known for its punctual spouting now has some help from our petroleum patrons.
Injections of steam and their subterranean secret sauce means this popular feature is guaranteed to spout every ten minutes during park hours.
Renaming it Old Fracker is Uncle Sam’s way of saying “Thanks, Petro-pals!”
Express Bypass
Driving to Bumpkintown in a hurry but don’t want to miss out on your wilderness heritage? The newly constructed “This Lane is Your Lane” expressway lets you hit the highlights without slowing.
Assign a passenger to snap the clearly marked highpoints and enjoy them at your leisure when you arrive at your destination. Or just download the Pioneer PowerPoint collection from our website at: BioTransBetterNature.com.
BioTrans® Goiter Gorge Park…
We’re going to make you “fall” in love with Autumn all over again!
Photos from Pixabay: Park roadway – jeejong58 / Aspens – 272447 / Geyser – Steve Wilson
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